think think think (posted by Janine)

I think for a long time I have told myself or reminded myself that I am a fat person who has a lack of control and who simple over-eats. By making these mental statements I constistantly set myself up to fail because I am more or less accepting these negetive things about myself. It's these patterns that likely plague us all. We do so well for a little while, but find it so easy to slip into bad habits all with the excuse "I'll get back into it tomorrow". The problem with that is that you don't get back on track tomorrow. Or the next day. Or the day after that. Slips ups can have a spiralling affect. How well are you supposed to treat yourself when you feel kinda crappy and deep into the self-loathing?

I think that the best thing that any of us can achieve from this whole experience is truly learning how to eat and changing the way that we think about ourselves. Stop seeing ourselves as heavy and unhealthy, and begin to see the potential of envisioning ourselves as healthy a fit. The binging and starving simply is not a way to treat our bodies. There has to be some kind of balance achieved. Every mistake and slip up we make today, is only more weight we have to lose tomorrow. Only sets us back further from our goal. My hope was to reach my goal before the deadline and be well into working on maintaining. But I'm finding it a little difficult. It's easy to get busy with other aspects of your life and set aside this goal of achieving wonderful health. But wonderful health should be the top priority, because without it, everything else is far less enjoyable. This is what I need to continuously remind myself. I've been having some trouble the last week and a bit what with ignoring the gym, slipping off of raw foods and also with being ill this past weekend. I can see that it's just been crappy for my self-esteem which was really beginning to kick into high gear from seeing and feeling the possitive results after 24 days raw. I really miss that feeling. Already. So there's only one thing that makes any sense for me. Stop being a dink and get the rock back on that bus.

OK. I'm done venting.

love,
neenie