Brought tears to my eyes...

Well family you guys sure are all prolific writers. My goodness, it's simply amazing that we are digging deep into our souls to see the real us.
Angie , I too feel with you on the "our father" issue, but I know we all tried and were very respectful and grateful for all that our father did for us. So today as we celebrate Father's Day I will think positively of his goodness.
For you Ham, you always were the perfect dad and uncle for all our children. You taught them all how to have fun! Thank you for that!
Janine, you mentioned that perhaps an upsetment caused your soupy episodes, you could be right.
About 35 years ago when your gramma Stoll died of ovarian cancer (in the same hospital where you my dear Jessie work today).
I was given the role of helping your father prepare for her funeral. We chose her clothes, wigs etc. Being 24 & still a newly wed never having dealt with this, we made some wrong choices in burial garments. Apparently she had wanted to be buried in the gown she wore at our wedding, less than a year before. At the viewing and funeral the topic came up on why wasn't she in the mauve dress she wore at your wedding? Many people commented on that, I felt so guilty that her last wish was not kept.
Anyways this episode and her death in itself caused me to not have a period for 4 months, so much so that I assumed I was pregnant. That birthday in 1972, Angie you gave me a baby carriage charm for my birthday. I bought a second hand pram and bassinet from the people in our apartment building . Started learning to crochet a baby blanket from my friends at work. Shell stitch , no less, pretty impressive yellow blanket, worked all my spare time on that, it was a true labour of love for this baby I thought I was carrying. The blanket I still have. Everyone was so happy! Amazing I still hadn't gone to the doctor for confirmation. Finally I made the appointment and that Friday morning Aunt flo arrived , or was it a miscarriage? The doctor said go home and take it easy, if it was, it's gone now.This particular doctor was one of my mother in laws ' doctors who believed in prescription drugs to deal with whatever ails you, so no wonder he wasn't too concerned about my condition and sent me home.
I remember crying on the streetcar, we were supposed to go to the cottage. It was decided I should go spend the weekend with my sister in law Jean. I shouldn't be left alone she felt.
So the men went north and I stayed at her house. This same sister in law never spoke to my mother in law for 25 years only on special occasions, so I came into a family trying to be the peacemaker, unfortunately one of the participants died.
In a few weeks my ex inlaws will be celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary.
So you see Janine, perhaps somethings are hereditary, I hope you get better.
I know your gramma Stoll would have loved you to bits just like Omi does. She always wanted a grand daughter.That you you would have been to her. She would have had 7 great grand daughters and 1 great grandson, most of which you have recently met. Imagine how blessed Elt & Jean are today to have so many loving grandchildren to help celebrate their special anniversary in July at the Stoll family cottage?
I think I've dug deep again, sorry about that, but I still do feel guilty about the dress thing, which is just a small part of my 20 year Stoll history.
Remember 3 years ago going to Over Eaters Anonymous, there one of the steps was to aplogize to anyone you ever wronged. Pretty big job and I never had the chance to really complete the task.
Perhaps if I apologize in "My Own Mind" without confronting the people I can move on and focus on the task at hand getting myself healthy. Now that's a POSITIVE IDEA. I think today I will forgive myself and allow myself to be happy and healthy!
I look forward to many more years with my lovely family!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts.
Have a great week all!!!!!!
Love Birgie
PS: Angie do find yourself a fulfilling hobby, building anything would be a great idea!Home Depot even cuts the wood for you.