Day 11 Raw Vegan (posted by Janine)
WEIGHT: 136 lbs
FOOD: 2 bananas, pineapple, dried figs, and avocado.
I'm not so sure what it is that's the cause of these feelings, but I've been very irritable, sad and feeling sort of escapist/hopeless/lost lately. I'm not really gaining any kind of satisfaction from any of the things that I've been doing lately. My job has been getting me down. I feel a sense of turbulance and uncertainty in my future. I also feel a little lost and unable to make very clear choices as to what to do with myself. On top of this, I hold on to a lot of anger. Anger that I would love to simply release and feel freedom from. But every day I have the same looming negetive waves of feeling done wrong and beyond repair. Part of my reason for going raw was not only to lose weight, avoid illness and heal my body, but it was mainly to feel possitive and naturally high and happy, regardless of what was occuring around me. I thought it would be simple. Just eat healthy and all of the negetive thoughts will just evaporate. It still feels early in the process as if I'm still detoxing, but I'm over-whelmed with these awful feelings. Physically I feel quite well, and I know that I'm doing good things for my body. But emotionally I feel wrecked. Seriously at a loss.
Eating raw foods has been easy for me this time. Easier probably than it has been in the past. I find the more further I get into it, the more raw foods I want to eat. I crave cooked food less. But I still feel that all of the awful thoughts are getting in the way of me experiencing these changes in my body to the fullest. I feel like maybe I should be joining some women's chanting groups or some kinda hippy dance class or something. Maybe I should be treating myself to massage. Maybe all of this can be chalked up to a bad bad bad case of pms.
Wish me well-er.
SMALL VICTORIES: I walked to and from work today (12 km total)
neens
1 comment:
Neens,
It makes me sad to hear your sadness. And you really portray it so well with words. I feel at a loss and wish I could help you and make your sorrow disappear! Maybe a hippy dance class, or women chanting would help. You might need to play around with different methods. Maybe a change in job where you really felt you were doing something special and good (I think you are doing great work, but you mentioned last night while working out that maybe you need to do something else that was more of a calling and more meaningful). Whatever you need to do my love, just take care of your emotional self! Our mental wellness is far more important than our physical - or so I believe.
If there is anything I can do, you know where to find me. I want to chat again with you....I love you!
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